Over the last few weeks I seemed to have been shot back in time. I am unable to perform the simplest of tasks. I am all over the place. I feel that everything is against me. While there is still a lot of things to be sorted, it seems that the last 2 years have taken its toll on me. I am in pieces to be honest. I feel my body is falling apart literally. The last 2 years has caught up with me big time and I am a mess.
How does one rise up from this. I am hitting a brick wall no matter which way I turn. Our finances were not in order, neither were a lot of other things and now I am facing it all alone and no one is bending and there is no one to help me at all. A few only know about this and they cant help so I am so so alone and bewildered with it all. I spent a few days in a new mode of sorting it all out but while a few things are on track the rest are not playing. I am anxious and strained now and I dont know what is going to happen to me.
Please think of me now and with all your might wish for good things to happen because I dont think I can handle this all by myself anymore. But I have to, I have no choice. I am still responsible for someone and so I will sort it. It is so hard, I just wish I had someone to help me. I wish I could just say what will I do and then get an answer. I feel so lonely and sad. I need a hug but not just any hug.
I cannot seem to feel anyway normal, it has been so long now since I have felt normal, I am constantly uptight and I am terrified all the time,At this moment in time, I am suffering hugely and I just long for bedtime every day because thats the only time I feel safe. A big X is going out and I am willing some XX and some guidence to come back to me please.