Emotions

I wonder if anyone else has the same problem as me. Over the last 2 years I seem to have lost the ability to be emotional or feel emotions, well, maybe I mean, a little emotion is there but feeling emotions deep down is just not happening.

Its strange and a little bit scary really. There has been situations where there should have been huge emotions but they are just not there. I seem to have been removed from feeling anything other than the emotion I feel when I am having a bad day thinking about my life before all this and about what I have lost. When it happens I feel guilty but while I know I should let go, nothing seems to happen. I wonder if its normal, I wonder am I normal but its my secret and I really do want this to come back to me so I can be of some use to people when they need me. I really need to get back to feeling again so I can feel full stop.

This is such a long road I am on getting back to “Normality” I wonder will I ever feel normal again. In the meantime, I will keep trying and keep getting up everyday and keep doing the normal things that make me appear normal. I could say I dont care if I can be emotional again because I dont at the moment but I know thats wrong so I wont give up on myself yet. I hope someday in the future I will be as normal as I used to be. If I ever was???

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