My Mixed Up World

Good days and bad days they say, but a good day is yet to come, so it really is a question of the degrees of bad days meaning there are good bad days and bad bad days. In fact this last couple of months has been the worst time I have had since I have been alone.

If this was at any other time in my life I would be very worried indeed for my sanity. My head is all over the place. Reality is finally here with me and I am just not accepting it too well. I cannot get on top of anything, and so much has to be sorted out. Everytime I start and think I am getting more focused, bang goes the brain and Im all mixed up again. I have been told this is normal and the second year is worse than the first but as usual I didnt believe it. I do now.

I hate this more I think, at least last year I was so fuzzy headed I didnt know what was going on. Who knows where this will end. I hate my life at this time. Its lonely, its messy, its sad all the time. If only I could start thinking straight and logically too that might help. As I have said several times, im tired.

I am sure you are guessing I am having a bad night and a good old moan, I dont apologise for that, so there. Hugs needed again tonight, where are you? when I need you!

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