Over the last while, I seem to be changing, when I say changing I mean I can now look back and not collapse into a pile of mush. I can look back and feel sorrow, feel loss, feel sorry for the things I didnt say or do, but above all feel so so lonely. That …
Over the last few weeks a lot of things have been happening. I am performing as a fully grown up person and to all looking on, I am coping. Well thats not the case, I feel like a I think a child might feel on the first day of school. Lets see can I explain …
Over the last few weeks I seemed to have been shot back in time. I am unable to perform the simplest of tasks. I am all over the place. I feel that everything is against me. While there is still a lot of things to be sorted, it seems that the last 2 years have …
Over the last few weeks I have become more and more frustrated with conversations that lead into being told how to move on. I am not ready to move on, at all. The anger it brings to me is huge. Seemingly one of the stages of grief is anger but I thought that was anger …
I quess one of the things I miss the most in my new life is spontaneity. I am really finding it hard to never do anything without a plan. Its not that we did it often but the option was always there. It would go like "do you fancy going to… " and usually the …
Good days and bad days they say, but a good day is yet to come, so it really is a question of the degrees of bad days meaning there are good bad days and bad bad days. In fact this last couple of months has been the worst time I have had since I have …
For some reason the end of the day is different from any other time. I dont know why. When I eventually decide to go to bed each night, its like a mission that has to be done and a certain amount of planning has to go into it. I dont like it, I always feel …
As Ive said in previous posts, days are all the same, Monday, Friday, Christmas, Easter or just plain ordinary Saturday. This is a major thing and has been there from the start and is showing no signs of changing. Everyday is the same, no matter what day it is or what I have to do. …
Lonely is a word I didnt give much notice to, why would I, life was always full but nothing prepared me for the lonliness of now. When I say I am lonely, I mean I am lonely to the extent that I feel isolated. Sometimes my house is full with visitors but it does not …