The Social Life

One of the biggest regrets I have had over the last few years was turning up at social events that I was so uncomfortable at that my stomach was nearly sick with the anxiety. Its difficult to recreate your social life, but I turned up and with a big smile on my face, I behaved …

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A few years down the road

Its been a few years down the road and like at the start I just cannot believe it, a few years alone, living a life meant for us but now there’s only me living out a life which should have been different. Its strange really that I am sitting here writing this post, feeling ok, …

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Remembering You is Easy…

Today my head is filled with memories since I opened my eyes this morning. Today 14th January has slipped by without much fuss the last few years but this year for some reason its very evident. You see 5 years ago today, at approx 11.30pm my life was to change forever. That was the day …

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Its been a while..

As the title says its been a while since I have posted on the blog. Its not because I have forgotten and its not because I have moved on, its simply because I have been busy and I have had so many changes in my life this year that I have not had the inclination …

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A Big Birthday Day

Well where did the time go, another big birthday, a signigicant one and the first significant one I have had to face on my own. I am writing this and not sure if I will post it, I will keep in in drafts till I feel I want to. My birthday is today but the …

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Where do I fit ?

While the days move on and you think you have come across all things for the first time, there is now another new thing. Yesterday I filled in a form and when asked name, address etc all good. Then came the status question. Married? Single? Divorced? etc but nowhere for me. Now you could say …

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A Christmas without a reason

A short while ago I sold my house and it was going to be always a hard one. When the house was empty, I checked around all the rooms and while empty, when I walked into each room all I could hear was noise. Family memories resounded throughout the house. My thoughts went back to …

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Weekends

I really hate weekends now with a passion. I used to love them, it was a time to relax and get away from the routine of the long week, now its 2 long days that drag and are filled with nothing mostly. Being a widow lands you in a vacant place because everyone is getting …

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‘Tis the season

Again its here, Christmas is looming and for some reason this year its horrendous. On 28th Nov I put the tree up, willing myself and hoping I would start to feel the spirit. and what happens – nothing. A big fat nothing. I cannot feel anything. I hoped I would, I wished I would but …

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